Are You A Visionary?

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Do you have a vision for your life?

For your dating life, for your relationship life, what do you want to experience and why do you want to experience it?  Is it just some general feeling of discontent?  The feeling that I don’t have what I want?

Most of us walk around feeling like that, and it’s really just a simple matter of stepping into having what you want.  You have to imagine what you want, and let yourself feel what it’s like to have what you want.

A lot of times, we get stuck in our heads saying, “Well I can’t have that, I can’t do that, I didn’t come from the same place as these people.”  And then, we kind of go about our simple lives and our major struggles.What’s interesting is the more you start being fearless in your vision, and letting yourself dream what you want to dream and following the path before you, in many ways, the less struggles you will have.

It’s inspiration that rules the day.  It cools you off, it lifts you up, it carries you through, and man I have seen it over and over and over again in my own life and the other people I know who live an inspired life.  The universe conspires to help you achieve your vision, not stop you.

So one of the major steps you need to take is to close your eyes and let it flood in. Start writing down everything you ever wanted to have, or do, or be in your life, and write about it.  Write a list of those things, and keep doing it. Don’t stop at anything.  This is just for you.  You don’t have to share it with anyone just yet.  In time you’ll share it with the world.

A lot of people have visions, but the people around us, [click to continue…]

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What Does An Attractive Man Believe In

Are your beliefs destroying your ability to experience the life you desire?

Are your beliefs keeping you stuck and alienated from the people you want to connect with?

Are your beliefs making you feel less then Awesome? Do you believe you are not enough?

Do you believe that there is not enough in the world for everyone to have an amazing life?

Watch this Video Now

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How To Become Ageless

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How old are you?

How many times do you get asked that question, how often does it feel good to answer that?

What is the purpose of the question, “How old are you?”

Every time you read a magazine about a famous person, or any person in a newspaper article, they always identify the person by their age. The Central Park Jogger was just 27, now Bradley Cooper is 36, Jennifer Lawrence, just 19. However it is, it’s always, here’s who they are, and here’s their age. Why? Why is that information so important? Why do we need to know? Well, there’s just one reason, so that we can compare ourselves to them.

The thing is, every single time you compare yourself to someone else, you lose power. You become a disempowered person.

The only reason we ask people how old they are is because we want to compare them to something, some idea of success, some idea of their success against our success, some idea of what we can be in conjunction with who they are.

How many years do they have left to live? So someone says he’s 30. Well, we can surmise he’s got about 42 years to go, what has he achieved? Is he a winner or is he a loser? When we see that McJagger wrote the song, “Satisfaction” at age 19 and you’re in your 30’s, 40’s or 50’s, and you haven’t made a hit song, it sure could make you cry. If you were an actor and you were in your 30’s, and compared yourself to [click to continue…]

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The Little Dictator Inside Your Mind

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We live in a politically correct world, that has for the past several years gotten even more and more extreme.

To the point where a lot of people are scared to say anything to another person or express how they feel, in fear that they’ll insult someone; Out of fear that they will be condemned by the person they’re talking to or someone somewhere in the world.

Its to the point where it’s like a fascist kind of thing.

Even if we don’t live in a fascist society, we have a little fascist dictator in our head. He can be editing us and telling us that we’re not allowed to feel what we’re feeling, and we’re not allowed to say what we’re thinking.

What could be worse than that?

There are cameras everywhere. In the hallway of your home, on just about every street, and now even through our phones and computers. The effect of all this security is chilling on the human psyche. The Feeling it leaves you with is “I am being Watched. I better edit my actions and “act normal” not just in front of people but even when I am alone”. Now you have a voice between you and your instincts. An editor if you will. Once that happens you are disempowered; disconnected. This condition of fear gives rise to the little dictator inside your mind.

This little dictator in our head stops a lot of us from connecting with other people, and actually breaks the bond we have with ourselves to live a fully actualized self-expressed life.

It’s really important that [click to continue…]

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You, Her, and The Universe

You, Her, and The Universe.

 

 

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On to the Next Suffering

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Let’s have a look at our lives, our day to day. We strive for some great experience, craving it. Desiring it. Yearning for it.

Finally got it!!!!

Aannndddd before you know it…

You’re on to the next suffering!

You finally got what you always wanted, that very thing or experience you couldn’t wait to have, and almost instantly, there’s a new suffering! Now that you are here in this circumstance, your sad that you can’t be there in that other circumstance.  Oh life.  You finally met the most beautiful, kind, loving person in the world.  She’s amazing! But she’s not that girl over there.  Now you can’t be with that other girl and you can tell she wants you.  Oh the Suffering.

This is a constant disease, one that we all have.

Buddha put it best; life is suffering.

But it’s really the longing, the wondering, the desiring that we’re so programmed to do [click to continue…]

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She’s Like A Rainbow and Yet You Make Her Grey

So Many guys miss the moment when attempting to connect with a women. They are so focused on the outcome that the girl before them just becomes a way to “get what he wants”. Of course, any self aware girl can feel this and it repels her.  So he rarely ever does get what he wants.  He then falls into frustration and even despair. Has this ever happened to you?

When this is happening you are being driven by your ego in an attempt to prove your self worth by getting validation from others.

Yes, I know…you are like “John, I just wanted to learn how to meet women. Why all this psychology?”. Well, because I see it everyday with my clients. They come to me stuck and suffering in this trap.

They literally have become like “a terminator”. Everything is “what can I get?”. They miss the joy of the moment and they have lost touch with a “deep instinct to connect” on every level. Have You ever felt this way?

When you learn to move into “Instinct” and operate from a place of giving and sharing you will discover a new way; a new life.  Suddenly, the world turns from black and white to a full on rainbow.

You learn to appreciate each women for who she is. You revel in each exchange no matter the outcome, as a Victory.
You stop complaining about “what isn’t” and you start “loving what is”. Would you like to feel that way? Then Watch This Video : )

Looking forward,

John

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5 Lessons an Actor Knows That Will Transform Your Life

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For many years I was an actor in NYC.  I devoted my life too it.  I studied with great teachers, worked on many projects, had the pleasure to work with many talented people and even lived in a dusty room in the back of a hoarders Lair.   During those years of grinding it out in NYC and building character through fire I tested my metal in just about every way.  I explored the question “who am I” over and over.  On a stage, there is no where to hide so I learned to strip away all falseness and tap into my “true persona”.  Every rehearsal was like training in human connection.  The core of a powerful scene in acting is simply two human beings Listening, Relating, and Responding to each other. When I went to the “street” to overcome my own social fears and limits and develop my “skills of engagement” I used everything I had learned in acting.

Some lessons I share with my clients are these:

Rehearse The Role Of The Connector

Rehearsal, Practice and Repetition are the only way to get good at anything.  Most people don’t look at being social and flirting the same way, but they should.  When you take on the “I’m just rehearsing” mindset it removes the majority of pressure.  You stop feeling like you are in life and death situation.  You start having fun exploring and discovering the part and the scene, just like an actor.  It’s the timeless scene of boy meets girl and you are rehearsing it over and over.  Through every exchange you learn more about yourself, women, and humanity.  In order to become the role of the great connecter, you must rehearse each part of the scene over and over until it is second nature.

The Most Important Part Of The Scene Is The Other Person

Often times people try to meet people with memorized scripts or routines or feel they have to demonstrate a series of attractive qualities in their attempt “to get the girl”.  When you follow that process you immediately become disconnected from the other person and become a false version of yourself. It’s infinitely more effective and rewarding if you simply know thy self and tune into the other person like your life depended on it.  From them you will get everything you need to make a real connection.

There Is Nothing You Can “Do” That Will Ever Be More Beautiful Than Just Simply “Being”

You might be entertaining and even amusing but nothing is and nothing your mind can create or all the minds in the world working together can create will be as powerful as…

[click to continue…]

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Moving Beyond Every Single Risk Point

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In any given conversation, there’s a series of places where most people stop.  They give up.  More accurately they give into fear.  Obviously, at each place there’s a point of anxiety where the dark voices, the monkey men, come in and start telling you why not to do it, you’re not good enough, and they’ll tell you to move away, walk away, eject, and run.

We must train ourselves to move past each “Risk Point”, and I’m calling it a “risk point” because a risk is where you take a leap to the next place, and you’re not 100% sure you’re going to land on your feet. It’s exactly a risk that you might be rejected.  It’s a risk that you might not be accepted.  It’s a risk that your compliment or your assertion might not be received.
So these are all the little risk points, and we’re vulnerable at each place.  And this is what we must train ourselves to move past. This is why we would walk down the street saying hello to lots of people. This is why we would start five or six conversations on any given day just for the sake of it.  This is why we’ll give people compliments as we see them so with practice it’ll get more comfortable.  Does that make sense?

For example, one risk point would be [click to continue…]

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The Ultimate Mind Set: The Social Explorer

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When flirting with the opposite sex, we often get into a hunter and prey mindset.

Straight away, we fall into a world of lack because we’re following a faulty paradigm. And this faulty paradigm is the success/failure paradigm. I’m successful if I get a phone number. I’m successful if she smiles. I’m successful if I get laid. I’m successful if…

The problem is even if we have those successes they’re immediately followed by things we don’t like: failures.

The reality is that it takes practice being social. It takes lots of talking, connecting, and exploring in order to have any of those outcomes.

So with that success/failure paradigm we never really get there, or when we do get there we just don’t feel that good.

We feel bad about ourselves every time someone doesn’t smile; every time we don’t get a phone number; every time she has a boyfriend; every time someone rejects our wants; every time someone doesn’t give us a kiss; every time we don’t get laid.

So everything is based on success and failure, which is filled with exhausting emotional lows, and a couple of highs.
But imagine leaving that track.

Imagine leaving that horrible disaster, and moving into a paradigm where [click to continue…]

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