Most of us go through existence feeling like we’re not good enough, feeling like we don’t have enough, hoping that one day we will arrive.
We go through life constantly seeking elusive success. Anything that isn’t that gets discarded, abandoned, and left for dead.
This paradigm is called the success/failure paradigm, and it leaves us in a constant state of lacking and makes us feel inadequate.
Here’s how it works. You have a goal. It could be to have more dates, be more social, have more sexual experiences, get a girlfriend etc…
Let’s say you go out and your goal is to get a girlfriend. You went out and talked to hundreds of women, and you still don’t have a girlfriend. So, after all that, you feel way worse than when you started because after each and every conversation, after each and every attempt, and everything you did, you only had one goal in mind — get girlfriend.
The rest of it was discarded. You never validated yourself for talking to all those women, for being social, or for learning to express yourself.
Instead of becoming more attractive, you became less attractive because you became more and more desperate and lacking.
That’s how the success/failure paradigm works, it’s a trap.
Let’s say you wave at a girl. She smiles, and you feel good. You walk over, you talk to her, and she says, “I have a boyfriend.” You feel bad.
You wave at a girl, she smiles, and you walk over. You talk, you have a conversation, you get her phone number, and you feel great. But then you call her, she doesn’t respond, and you feel bad.
You go on a date with a girl, you go for a kiss, she doesn’t reciprocate, and you feel bad.
You go on a date with another girl, she does reciprocate, you bring her home to your place, you go for sex, she doesn’t reciprocate, and you feel bad.
You go out with another girl. You try to make her your girlfriend. She does give you sex, and you date a few times. You feel like you’re falling in love, but then she tells you she doesn’t want to be in a relationship… you feel bad!
All those successes in between are lost! : (
A better way to look at the world is through the mind of the social explorer. The social explorer is always learning through every hello, every conversation, and no matter what the immediate outcome, he wins, he grows, and she wins.
The world expands because I’m exploring and I’m expanding.
That’s the better mind set.
The success/failure paradigm leaves us stuck in our circumstances and leaves us stuck in a static, dead frequency.
Transcend It Now and whole new existence will open for you.