The subject of touch comes up a lot – when and where do I touch. I normally initiate conversations and talk to women during the day, which is to say any place other than a bar or night club. When you’re out living your life, not seeking women, you find that beautiful women are all around you. By following your day-to-day activities, pursuing your interests and passions, going to and from work, shopping, going for coffee, you will notice interesting and attractive women abound. So how do we touch others in real interactions with real people and real situations?
We touch them lightly. Basic rules are, the hands and the arms are safe. They are always normal, safe places to touch. When a woman laughs when you make a point, you can tap, or touch her arm lightly. This is a sign of flirting. Also, you can touch her jewelry, bracelets, rings, when you make a point about them. Use the touch in combination with other engagement skills and other observations you make. Touching is part of a body language that says that you’re comfortable with yourself and you’re comfortable touching others. Once you are engaged in conversation and a trust has been established, you might take her hand and tell her a story, but you would, of course, grab it gently and not abrasively, as I’ve seen some people do – this shows awkwardness and a feeling of discomfort. My point – be gentle.
As a practice, at the end of every interaction, even during an interaction before you set up the date, once you feel she’s comfortable, you can just throw caution to the wind and say, “I just want to hug you.” You don’t ask for the hug, you just reach out and expect her to fully reciprocate. Also, at the end, when you get a phone number and set up a date, you always hug her. Essentially, hugging her communicates that you are comfortable with your body and with your sexuality, and that you’ve also solidified that this is an interaction between a man and a woman that is leading to a romantic relationship.
Again, always be light and easy. If you are comfortable with yourself, she will be comfortable with you. Always keep in mind that she may be a little nervous and your job is to disarm her and put her at ease. In order to create comfort with woman, you have to be comfortable with yourself, comfortable with touching and comfortable with hugging, comfortable with being a sexual, sensual being. Of course, I’m only scratching the surface here, but the techniques I have covered are the right place to start.