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The Instant Date-A How To Guide

Instant Date
The best thing we can do after meeting someone is to go on an instant date. This means, having had the initial interaction, you’re now going to move somewhere else to hang out. As you’re talking and it comes to the point where it’s clear you’ve made a connection, you validate her with something simple like, “Hey you’re really cool. I enjoy talking to you.” The key here is knowing the area, much like a bank robber would case the bank to be robbed. Let’s pretend you’re in a bookstore and in that bookstore there’s a coffee shop. That’s the nearest thing logistically. “You know what? I’m going to go and sit down and have a cup of coffee for about 15 minutes.” This is a time constraint, which serves multiple purposes. It says that I’m very chill, relaxed and casual, and it also relieves her of the burden of thoughts like, “How long do I have to stay with this guy? What if he gets creepy? What if I just want to get out of here?” You supply her with the out she’s looking for. So, again, you say, “I’m going to go have a cup of coffee or a cup of tea for about 15 minutes. It’d be great if you would come and join me,” or, “Why don’t you come with me?” Often times you’ll get a little bit of resistance here. It might just simply be because she feels like it’s strange, or she doesn’t want to feel like she’s so easy. In this case, I always say “Resist ye not evil,” which translates to, “That which you resist persists.” Simply say, “Come on, it will be fun.” Often times, you will find that if you made a great connection and she has the time, she will come and join you. If, however, she says, “No, I really can’t,” or “No, I’m meeting someone,” then, once again, be easy and chill and relaxed about it, and simply say, “Well, great, then we should do it some other time,” and go from there to set up a date.

As I said before, know the area – know your surroundings. This is the most important thing about the instant date – knowing interesting places nearby that you could go to. If you’re downtown and you want to instant date, you don’t say let’s hop in a cab and go up to uptown, making a big deal about it. At this point, that’s most likely more investment than she would be comfortable making. If you’re in a bookstore and there’s a coffee shop, or if you’re on the street and there’s a coffee shop, or a juice bar, or maybe even a wine bar close by, then you can easily take her there.

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