When flirting with the opposite sex, we often get into a hunter and prey mindset.
Straight away, we fall into a world of lack because we’re following a faulty paradigm. And this faulty paradigm is the success/failure paradigm. I’m successful if I get a phone number. I’m successful if she smiles. I’m successful if I get laid. I’m successful if…
The problem is even if we have those successes they’re immediately followed by things we don’t like: failures.
The reality is that it takes practice being social. It takes lots of talking, connecting, and exploring in order to have any of those outcomes.
So with that success/failure paradigm we never really get there, or when we do get there we just don’t feel that good.
We feel bad about ourselves every time someone doesn’t smile; every time we don’t get a phone number; every time she has a boyfriend; every time someone rejects our wants; every time someone doesn’t give us a kiss; every time we don’t get laid.
So everything is based on success and failure, which is filled with exhausting emotional lows, and a couple of highs.
But imagine leaving that track.
Imagine leaving that horrible disaster, and moving into a paradigm where you’re just constantly learning and growing and exploring.
The social explorer mind frame is literally seeing yourself as a great adventurer who’s out to let go of all the old dusty history books with all the bullshit thinking.
It’s about letting go of all the fear–based books that were handed down by fear–based thinkers, and letting go of all the bullshit that’s been inside your mind.
It’s about empirically exploring life for yourself, talking to people, and seeing what’s out there.
See what happens when you try new things. See what happens when you give an amazing compliment just for the sake of giving it. See what happens when you’re completely vulnerable and open to women. See how they respond with a little bit of depersonalization, a little bit of detachment, and not take whatever they say personally.
Just see what it means to be human. See what happens when you playfully tease her. Explore it for yourself. Explore what happens when you take risks. Explore what happens when you develop your sense of humor, your sense of light heartedness, your sense of playfulness and flirting skills, just for the sake of it. When you let go of the outcome, you become a social explorer.
It’s the ultimate mind frame.
It’s the frame of mind that never brings you into a world of lack, but only into a world of abundance. In it, you’re constantly learning and growing, exploring for yourself, and exploring humanity. This is the path to becoming your own person, to becoming your own man.
The social explorer mind frame teaches you to look at being social and flirting not just as a way or getting your wants needs and desires met, not just so you can get some validation through getting a smile, a phone number, or getting laid.
The social explorer mind frame teaches you to develop yourself so that you can self-actualize. So that you can understand yourself better, so that you can understand women better, so that you can understand humanity better.
It’s a noble effort, and it’s worth the effort.
I’ll see you out there,