In any given conversation, there’s a series of places where most people stop. They give up. More accurately they give into fear. Obviously, at each place there’s a point of anxiety where the dark voices, the monkey men, come in and start telling you why not to do it, you’re not good enough, and they’ll tell you to move away, walk away, eject, and run.
We must train ourselves to move past each “Risk Point”, and I’m calling it a “risk point” because a risk is where you take a leap to the next place, and you’re not 100% sure you’re going to land on your feet. It’s exactly a risk that you might be rejected. It’s a risk that you might not be accepted. It’s a risk that your compliment or your assertion might not be received.
So these are all the little risk points, and we’re vulnerable at each place. And this is what we must train ourselves to move past. This is why we would walk down the street saying hello to lots of people. This is why we would start five or six conversations on any given day just for the sake of it. This is why we’ll give people compliments as we see them so with practice it’ll get more comfortable. Does that make sense?
For example, one risk point would be just saying hello to a total stranger. Maybe that person won’t say hello back. That’s a very real possibility, and you have to accept that possibility and do it anyway.
The next risk point might be transitioning into a personal conversation, to learn about them. Maybe they won’t want to open up to you, but you have to accept that possibility, be at peace with that, and do it anyway.
The next risk point might be giving them a compliment or when they ask you a question, and you open up to them and be vulnerable, or a risk point might be asking them out on a date, and then again, a risk point to make a specific time and place to meet. Another risk point would be touching them, kissing them, holding their hands, all these little risk points.
Now it’s true, none of these risks may pan out. But these are all part of the journey to love and relationships.
Now here I am talking about risks that don’t pan out. But what if they do pan out?
What if that person does give you a hello back? What that woman decides to trust you and tell you something meaningful about herself? What if she smiles genuinely at your compliment? What if she’s enthusiastic about meeting you again at a time and place? What if she likes your touch? What if she wants your kiss? Craves your kiss? What if she feels good holding your hand?
The possibilities of these risks turning into something wonderful and exciting are well worth the possibility of crashing and burning.
But none of it can happen without risk.
It all come’s back to complete ownership of your role as a man. You are the leader and its your job to take every single risk from “hello” to “will you marry me”.
I’ll see you out there,
John