How to Flirt

Flirting, at its core, is all about playfully expressing romantic interest in someone. It can be intimidating to put yourself out there and try to flirt, but don't fret—feeling nervous around someone you genuinely like is completely normal. The good new is, ther are ways to boos your confidence and become a pro at flirting. To lend you a helping hand, I've compiled a collection of top-notch flirting tips. These tips are focused on flirting in person, but some of them can also be used in online situations. They're surprinsigly simple to put into practice. So, keep on reading to discover how to flirt with confidence.


Make eye contact: Making eye contact is one of the simplest and most effective ways to initiate flirting. It's about peering into someone's eyes, while also occasionally breaking the connection to avoid overwhelming intensity. Here are a few techniques to give this flirting approach a try:

  • Get caught stealing glances. Sneak quick looks at the person you are interested and keep doing it until they catch you in the act. Lock eyes for a moment, flash a smile, and then look away.
  • When engaging in conversation, focus your gaze on their eyes, especially during meaningful moments like when you're paying them a compliment.
  • Playfully wink or raise your eyebrows at her. It may sound cheesy, but when used sparingly, it can work wonders. Try it when you're exchanging glances from across the room or delivering a remark meant just for them in a group setting.
  • Another technique is to lower your gaze and then slowly look up again.


Smile: When you're talking to someone you really like, a smile just comes naturally, right? But here's the thing, you can actually use your pearly whites to your advantage even before the conversation starts. It could be as simple as flashing a subtle smile when you pass them by in the halls or from across the room. No need to go all out with a big grin, just a gentle, slow smile can work wonders. Give these variations a try:

  • Instead of instantly breaking into a huge grin, let a slow smile spread across your face when you're looking at someone but not talking to them. Those languid smiles? They're generally considered attractive.
  • Whenever you make eye contact with someone, add a smile to the mix for some extra appeal. And here's a little secret: if it's a genuine smile, it will crinkle your eyes, giving it that special touch known as a Duchenne smile.
  • Oh, and here's a pro tip: when you smile, don't just focus on your mouth. Let your whole face light up and shine with happiness.


Talk to her: When it comes to flirting, introducing yourself or keeping a bit of mystery can both be effective strategies. Instead of relying on cheesy pick-up lines, a simple "Hi" followed by an introduction or a genuine question works wonders and feels more natural.

  • If you're an outgoing person and she doesn't know your name, consider introducing yourself at some point. A casual "Hi, I'm [name]. And you are...?" is a great way to start. Don't forget to remember their name by repeating it after they say it to you, like "Lily. I love that name."
  • On the other hand, if you want to add an air of challenge, you can keep your identity a mystery for a little while. If the other person is really interested, they may ask around or continue pursuing you.
  • And if she knows another language, like Spanish, impress them by picking up a few words before striking up a conversation. It's a personal touch that can make a connection more meaningful.


Initiate a conversation: Whether you already know the other person or not, having a conversation is the key to taking flirtation to the next level. Your boldness and confidence will surely impress the person you're flirting with. Here are a few guidelines that might resonate with you:

  • When talking to someone you don't know, start with an observation that ends in a question. It could be something like, "Can you believe how much it's rained this week?" or "Isn't this place packed?" Remember, it's not about what you say, but about inviting the person to engage with you.
  • If you're talking to someone you do know, find common ground based on shared experiences or interests. Maybe discuss a class you're taking together or the train you both take to work. Again, the specific topic isn't important; what matters is creating an opportunity for interaction.
  • Pay attention to their response. If they respond positively, keep the conversation going. But if they seem preoccupied or disinterested, they may not be interested in flirting with you. It's all about being perceptive and responsive to their cues.


Keep it light: When engaging in conversation, it's important to tread lightly on personal matters. Instead, focus on the environment around you, the latest show you watched, or your favorite hobbies. Leave personal information like finances, relationships, and education out of the discussion, unless the other person enjoys intellectual debates. It's generally best to avoid debating topics that are personally relevant to either of you, such as religion, and instead opt for subjects where you don't have a personal stake.

  • When it comes to flirting, it's easier to connect by discussing enjoyable topics like pets, reality television, or favorite vacation spots. This doesn't mean you have to diminish your intellect to flirt, but rather, it suggests the need to relax and temporarily set aside deep conversations.
  • Embrace playfulness and humor. Being playful entails not taking yourself too seriously, engaging in silly banter, lightly teasing her, or introducing slightly unconventional or unexpected subjects. It also means avoiding putting excessive pressure on yourself throughout the conversation.


Use body language to communicate your intentions: Non-verbal cues can reveal more about our emotions than words alone. It's important to express how you truly feel. Consider the following suggestions:

  • Keep your stance "open" by avoiding crossed arms or legs. These gestures may indicate a desire for isolation.
  • Orient your body towards the person you're engaging with. Face them directly and angle your torso or point your feet in their direction.
  • Break the "touch barrier" by casually initiating physical contact. A light touch on the forearm while conversing or a gentle brush as you "accidentally" get too close can create a connection.
  • Playing with your hair can convey nervousness, which can be endearing if you're interested in the other person. Twirling a strand around your finger or running your hands through your hair can subtly communicate this.


Break the touch barrier: When it comes to touching the person you want, it's important to tread carefully, especially in the beginning. You want the contact to be intentional, but not overwhelming. Instead of grabbing their hand or arm, opt for subtle gestures like brushing off an imaginary speck of dirt from their arm or "accidentally" touching feet or knees without immediately pulling away.

  • Remember, these touches can be declined without causing embarrassment or offense. If she isn't ready for that level of contact, don't take it as a complete rejection.




Compliment the other person early in the conversation: Sometimes, it might feel a bit bold, but expressing your interest in dating before a solid friendship forms can help you avoid the friend zone. Don't miss the chance—be confident, because you never know when another opportunity will come your way. Here are a few techniques to consider:

  • When giving compliments, maintain eye contact. Avoid looking away, as it might unintentionally make you seem insincere.
  • Lower the tone and volume of your voice slightly while complimenting. Speaking in a slightly deeper register than usual adds an intimate and alluring touch. It might even draw the other person closer to hear you.
  • Leverage her other interests to your advantage. If you're aware they're dating or interested in someone else, you can use this knowledge to craft a compliment that resonates.
  • Try seamlessly incorporating compliments into the conversation. For example, you could say, "I caught your game the other day. As a huge soccer fan myself, I'm curious—how did you become so skilled?"
  • When complimenting, be mindful about focusing solely on looks. Some people might feel uneasy if you overly emphasize their physical appearance. Stick to these physical features to keep things safe and respectful:
    • Eyes
    • Smile
    • Lips
    • Hair
    • Hands


Keep your interactions short and sweet: When it comes to creating demand, it's important to make the supply scarce. So, consider limiting your interactions with the person you're interested in. Instead of talking to them every single day, make it a special occasion and save it for a few times a week.

  • Also, try not to let conversations drag on for too long, around 5-10 minutes should do. The longer they go on, the higher the chances of encountering an awkward silence.
  • Another approach is to let the other person come to you. After putting in the effort to initiate the interaction and piquing their interest, take a step back and see if they seek you out. This can be a great way to gauge their interest and build some tension.


Ask her out: When your flirting has been going well, and you're eager to get to know the other person on a deeper level, it's time to explore the possibility of turning it into a date. Here are a few approaches:

  • Ask about their plans for a future date, like saying, "So, what are you up to on Saturday night?" Keep the question open-ended to encourage a more detailed response. Avoid asking about their immediate plans for tonight or tomorrow. Suggest a date a few days in advance to avoid seeming overly eager.
  • Propose a specific event and invite them to join. This works well if you're planning a group outing. You could say something like, "A bunch of us are going to see a movie on Friday, and it would be great if you could come along."
  • If you're feeling confident, be straightforward. Skip the pretense and say something like, "I'd really love to take you on a date. When are you free?"


Remember, finding the right approach is about being genuine and considerate while expressing your interest. Good luck!

If you're still uncertain about your flirting prowess or just want to enhance your dating skills, don't hesitate to get in touch. Take the next step in your dating journey with a free consultation with John Keegan, who have already helped many guys like you. Click here to claim your free session today. Your future self will thank you.

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