How To Stop Communicating Nervous Needy Energy


Pecking is the physical manifestation of needy energy.  That is why we look at the social interaction as a process and not an outcome – we remove outcome dependency.  It is important not to get stuck in the energy of need, trying to get something from another person (i.e.:validation, a phone number, sex).  This will naturally show in our body language as leaning in and pulling back a lot – pecking.  You don’t want to do this.  It is essentially leaning in like a chicken and pecking, and it appears to her, and any outside observer, as you nervously wanting something.  What you are actually doing is communicating nervous, needy energy, which is, in turn, repelling her.  To stop this nasty habit, just lean back, relax and be still when you talk.  This will convey that you are a cool, laid back person who is comfortable with himself.  This IS attractive.  The goal is to communicate that you are chill and relaxed.  You’re just a chill guy, talking to someone, getting to know them, letting them get to know you.

John Keegan

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